I reckon loads of paddlers know the feeling of sitting on the finish line after a run, watching other athletes come down the course, wondering if anyone is going to beat their time. If I'm perfectly honest, I wasn't expecting this particular race to be that time for me; for the last four years, I have finished either 6th or 7th in the final of the Paul McConkey Cup memorial race. After senior selection, I kind of knew what mental state I had to achieve in order to be able to concentrate. Actually I think all athletes KNOW what state that is, its just getting to it thats the trickiest part. I'd been feeling great in Nottingham all week, having come back to full training for almost a month. I was feeling strong, and I love the changes made to the course in Nottingham. Looking back and reviewing my mental and physical state during the week leading up to the race, I think its important to identify elements of life that make you tick - for me, its spending time with people on and off the water. I love competitive training groups, and thanks to the coaching system set up in Nottingham, I had the chance to train with loads of fast athletes. Off the water I find it pretty hard to unwind from 'canoeing mode', so being with friends and other athletes definitely contributed towards being relaxed. 

One of the big breakthroughs for me was learning to relax on race day. I don't mean like mentally relax; but forcing myself to leave the slalom course to go back to the hotel between runs, having a late breakfast on Sunday instead of relentlessly pacing up and down the gates whilst exhausting my mind and body. Its hard not to - the emotional part of my brain is firmly convinced that the more I stare at the gates, the better I will do. But it all comes down to preparation, and sometimes the best preparation is just resting! 

So having had a fun week on a great course with awesome people in one of my favourite cities, I felt pretty chilled coming into the weekend. Admittedly the mental failure of senior selection was weighing on my mind, but keeping a clean mind is an exercise that you can only get better at by practising. After the semi finals, I was sitting third, behind a super fast time by Hannah Bailey and Alice Haining. Every other time I have paddled the finals at this race, I've got over excited and tried too hard - blown out in the first half of the run. But this time felt different. I've practised keeping a level head so often now, I felt like I was answering every uncertainty in my head with a tactical thought change, and it wasn't hard. I didn't feel like I was labouring to keep a positive mind. I know every race is different, but for this finals run I was purely in the water. My time wasn't spectacular, only a second faster than my semis run. But it was solid, and good for me. While slower than the fastest time in the semis, it was the fastest time on the run that mattered. 

What was especially awesome was how happy everyone else seemed to be - I've never really thought of my racing career as anything other than my own individual journey. But at prize giving and for the last few days, so many people have just said lovely things, or expressed being happy for me. Its awesome when someone else recognises the work you've put in, and celebrates with you when it pays off :)

Getting ready for summer racing is almost like winter training, except it's warmer. Usually. In Scotland over the past few weeks the weather has been decidedly bipolar, ranging over the course of four days from 22 degree heat to -2 degree snow and hail. Packing my kit the morning before training, it's usually hard to decide whether to pack a shortie cag or an ice scraper for the car. Just keeping you on your toes. 

Because I missed out on the chance to race at u23 level this year, over the summer I will be racing at the Czech championships in Prague. My favourite city, that has so many different faces it's impossible to tell whether you are in Greece or Germany from one street to the next. Because we are not tapering for a couple more months, April and May have comprised of a seriously tough training block. Maybe it's easier to write that from lying in my bed, immobile because yesterday I completed the most disgusting max-heart rate challenge ever invented. 

Returning to hard training, feeling the burn all day and night again is something beautiful after so long of having to be super careful not to exert. It's also made me realise that if you are hungry for it every time you get on the water, you inevitably absorb more information. I'm doing four gym sessions a week just now to recover my explosive strength, and multiple other land based sessions that mean when I do get on the water, every fibre of my body is leaning towards attacking the gates. It gives you room for thought. I want to be in my boat more than anything, and when these sessions are set up like gifts during the week, it's impossible not to take every last drop of enjoyment and improvement out of them.