The start of Autumn is always hectic in the slalom and university calendars - the Premier season has essentially restarted after a summer of training and racing, and of course everyone has to go back to class. I'm currently starting my third year of English Literature. A lot of people wonder why an athlete wants to study something that isn't sports science, psychology or something similar. And the simple answer is, I love reading - and I love the cultural diversity in different kinds of literature. Having a degree that is completely separate to my 'full time' thing, my sport - gives me a sense of detachment that is helpful when preparing for races, and the mental strain of focussing hard on training twice a day, every day. As well as starting third year, the second half of my racing season kicked off with a double 'prem' race at 'Graveyard', a slalom course on the river Treweryn. Personally, although having previously never achieved better than 7th place on this course, I have always loved racing here. This Welsh site is remote, idyllic and real fun to race on - it's fast, narrow, and natural features offer an inconsistent style of water I find thrilling. I was delighted to have four solid runs, and get fourth place on both days of racing. I felt as though my mental attitude at this race was vastly improved, and I felt comfortable and happy at every stage of the weekend. 

I got asked an interesting question recently by my flatmate; 'When meeting new people, do you actively avoid telling them about your sport?'. This was directed at myself and my other flatmate, who is a full time swimmer. To my shame, my answer was definitely 'yes'. I've been thinking about it since then, and I can think of a few answers to why we as athletes prefer not to go into detail about our lifestyles:
1. Explaining what canoeing is. Often when people ask you what your sport is, they expect a quick answer that they will recognise and be able to judge very quickly. Canoe slalom is obscure enough that having to spend more than five minutes explaining what it is gets quite dull for the average conversation, even though it is probably one of the most exciting sports in the world! An absolute classic for slalom paddlers is being mistaken for rowers

2. While athletes are generally respected from a 'distance', like on television and in magazines, the attitude that full time athletes face on a day to day basis involve comments such as 'oh my god, you're a total tank', 'I can't believe you train so much you antisocial freak', 'thats like, proper commitment, I don't understand why you do it' etc. For real, when you read these back they seem ridiculous - but they slip off the average person's tongue with ease. Kind of like how being seen to try hard at school is socially frowned upon, declining a drink or a pizza apparently has similar offensive connotations. Which is sad, when you think that nobody questions social norms like skipping lectures or eating a kebab. In fact, I would go as far as to argue that people would be more judgemental of a skinny person ordering a salad, than a fat person ordering a burger in a restaurant. 

Note: This is changing. I have rarely seen someone smoking in the last couple of years without someone either complaining out loud to them or giving them a dirty look. Not long ago pretty much everyone smoked, and it would be unusual to walk for ten minutes without passing someone doing it. 

3. There's this British attitude - now don't get me wrong, I love Britain. I am a good patriotic athlete, despite the individual nature of my sport - that flinches away from anything that could be interpreted as; bragging, arrogance, over-pride, underserved pride, less-than-modesty, 'special treatment', and superiority. Which is NOT to say that these personality traits come with being an athlete, in fact in my experience the opposite is often true. But to declare yourself a full time athlete, at any kind of advanced level in a sport, seems to produce a sort of self defensive attitude in the less informed listener.

Guys. I train every day, as hard as I can. This does not mean I expect every person I meet to love physical exercise. I am not going to judge your lifestyle because its different from mine. I respect people who love what they do, and if that means you go to the gym every day, once a week or once a year - who am I to judge that? Some people love socialising, some people love travelling, gaming, eating, complaining, studying, dating. I happen to love canoeing, and while I think everyone in the world should have a go at it, because it IS awesome - just do what you love!

There are a lot of skills involved in any kind of full time job. And when it comes to athletes, a lot of them have almost become stereotyped - organised, determined, blah blah. I feel one of the least appreciated skills that defines athletes, is flexibility. You need to be able to change plans - sometimes really quickly - and still get benefits from the outcome. So when one of our little group of two was so injured she couldn't travel, it was time to make some new plans; and fast! 

Often this flexibility means being able to commit to training hard by yourself for a little while. This is something that Scottish athletes can especially appreciate. We can flourish without support, progress without a guide, and still mould our careers in the shape we want them to be. I have had countless sessions alone, and I feel like I make a huge amount of progress. But I will be the first to tell you or anyone else in my sport, that training with other people is ALWAYS better. No matter how organised, structured or long your session is, nothing can beat having another athlete training next to you, or  a coach standing there to be your guide.

So it was a pleasant surprise in Nottingham, when what started out as a planned week of hard, lonesome sessions, turned out to be the exact opposite - I actually couldn't have picked a better week to train. Not only were people Like Etienne Stott willing to let me join in on their training, but I had numerous sessions with Luuka Jones, kiwi senior team paddler too! It just goes to show how much of a community slalom can be, when the likes of me (top ten national competitor, top of my age group in Scotland) can have productive sessions with the likes of Luuka and Etienne (Olympians, World cup finalists, you get the jist of it). 

Which kind of lead me to think about other sports. Isn't there a kind of shared camaraderie in the gym? When you lift on a platform, and kind of nod at the guy/girl on the next platform, and it feels like you're in this together? Running, and everyone has a spare moment to nod back, no matter how much they're hurting. That feeling that only athletes can share, when you dig so deep in a session that you see stars, and all you want to do is puke your guts up; but its not so bad, because your training partner is right there next to you, sharing your pain? I look at the sporting cultures in Downhill mountain biking and Windsurfing, and there is familiarity in every part of it. Slalom is hard, beautiful, terrifying, elating, dysfunctional, chaotic, organised and loved. But whenever I look at another athlete, or my coach, I know we share something, and neither one of us could ever put a finger on it. Maybe its just because everyone knows what everyone else has to give, how much ourselves we are willing to put into the sport. Or maybe its just because we all share a little piece of that competitive drive, to be part of the enormous, dysfunctional family of sport. No matter what your age, ability, ethnicity, location or funding. Everyone can be part of it.